Some will work out. Some won't.
But you'll have a good idea of your future life together if you let the relationship develop and ask each other what they are planning and dreaming of.
Things change, of course, and will probably work out differently, but the process has been established for clearly understanding each other and no guesswork involved.
And sometimes, it's like lightning.
I met someone via a personals ad in a singles magazine (Yeah I'm THAT old). Married shortly thereafter.
We built the relationship over time, centered around a very wonderful daughter.
Of course, intentions need to be made clear. When? I don't know. I guess it's like those interview questions: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years from now?" I recall being asked that once, and got it completely wrong, no doubt. So what's wrong with programming on the beach in Hawaii? Well, I was way ahead of my time. It's standard procedure now. I have this problem, seeing things ahead of their time. Bosses used to ridicule me, until they found out I was right. Too late. Sigh. Most bosses are NOT bright.
But first
• Understand who you really are, especially your values. Be consistent.
• Be a whole person. Nobody is going to fill your missing pieces or hold them together, and
• Find someone who's also whole and consistent, with a moral compass.
• Fixing is for therapists. If you aren't "there", get there before being a drag on someone else's life.
• People (partners) want to be happy. Be happy with yourself first, or you can't make anyone else happy. (especially kids!)
Buddhists have four "immeasurables" that are good to follow.
• Loving-kindness: responding with kindness & patience,
• Compassion: the natural response to inequality, aversion & unfairness,
• Sympathetic Joy: joy produced by others’ success and good fortune,
• Equanimity: enjoy beauty and joy without demanding them; don't let misfortune knock you down. Stuff happens, good and bad.
More here: excerpt from a book that helped me early on,
https://www.abuddhistlibrary.com/Buddhism/B%20-%20Theravada/Teachers/Ajaan%20Sumedho/The%20Way%20It%20Is/25-shine.htm
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