Our mom has dementia, so being alone in the house was a no/go for her. I brought her home to live with me. That lasted for a year. A 100 pound weight difference between us and her belligerence and violence in her dementia made living here completely untenable. She wanted what she wanted when she wanted it. Period. Most of the time, her wants could be accomodated. But certain things, like EMS to the hospital every few days... just because... became unworkable when Medicare stopped paying for them or the hospital stays. The last one put her in the hospital's elderly behavioral ward to try to get her violence under control. From there, she was rehabbed to a memory home. I ended up selling her house and everything in it to pay for her residence.
We are now finished with that money. She is broke. We are in KS. This is the way we have to be in order to apply for the KS form of Medicaid, which is called KanCare. Once you have spent down your assets, Kancare will pick up most (if not all) the extra cost of the nursing home costs that your Social Security check doesn't cover. The Social Security check goes straight to the Nursing Home. No longer makes a stop in your bank account, we discovered.
We're still trying to get this all figured out. It's a mess of paperwork, made necessarily more arcane by Brownback and company. Just writing it out has my heart beating faster. Thankfully, I have my sister to help me out on most of this, too... tho she goes into panic attacks with it, as well.
Medicaid is there to pick up the costs that are above and beyond whatever is left from your mom's Social Security check, which is why you are usually required to be basically flat broke before applying for it. I think they may give you a small stipend like $1200. But we got screwed up by the start of Covid-19 happening and no orientation at the nursing home. So some of this stuff, we missed.
Every rehab, assisted living facility, and/or nursing home has a social worker for your mom AND a finance department. Make sure you meet with BOTH of them. The Social Worker can tell you what your Mom will be introduced to as far as integration into the home - trips out, socialization with others, sleeping and eating schedules, etc. This was my Mom's downfall in the assisted living facility we first tried. We didn't realize her dementia made her far beyond their help. Talk honestly with the social worker and really know your Mom. Not knowing Mom's violent side cost us $13000 in the end.
Once you have finished with the Social Worker, talk with the Finance Department. Things to ask:
1. Will they be taking anything out of your Mom's bank account automatically? If so, how much and when?
2. At what point will she need to apply for Medicaid?
3. Will the Finance Department help you with the Medicaid paperwork and filing?
4. Will any expenses between Medicaid filing and when expenses are due be put on hold until Medicaid approval?
5. What about Medical Insurance? Will Medicaid cover all her insurance needs, including Medicare Parts A, B, C, and D?
6. If the answer to 5. if YES, at what point can you cancel her current Medicare Advance Plan (if she has one).
7. How are pensions and/or any other annuities that your mother may have coming in to her account handled by Nursing Home Finance and/or State Medicaid?
This gives you an idea of the complexity of Medicaid. Kancare is even worse. And we're up to our eyeballs in it right now. I just finished an email to the brand new finance director on our account as of last Friday. I'm terrified Mom's going to kicked out of THIS one, too, and back in with me again. I'm now disabled, so this isn't going to go well, if so. I've told Mom for years as healthy as her heart is, she's going to long out live me... and truth is, I'm probably right! (LOL)
NQAS... good luck. And DM me if I can help or you need a shoulder. This is a really scary journey. Just remember, you're trying to do your best for your Mom. You may not have all the answers, but as long as your trying that's all you can do. Don't EVER beat yourself up. Take it from someone who's been there!
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