I'm in complete despair

[ThoughtCriminal]

Turns out my very elderly parent has:

1. Been obtaining opioid narcotics and Ambien illegally online - and has been doing that for several years.
2. Has had frequent and prolonged hallucinations in the past few months
3. Has been massively financially exploited by a "friend"
4. Continues to reject any thought of going to assisted living even though he is nearly blind, has had frequent falls, and takes hydrocodone multiple times a day.
5. Family has excellent longevity, even in poor health

I live on the other side of the country. Retired, single, but ill equipped as a caregiver even if I was willing to move away from my children, grandchildren, and friends.

I am learning that there is virtually nothing I can do in this situation. Despite all the above, none of the doctors and psychiatrists that examined him at the hospital were willing to sign off on him as incapacitated or incompetent since he can easily pass any of the cognitive tests. I have talked to both his lawyer and other legal specialists.

I can't sleep. Every waking moment is just despair and I'm incapable of getting it out of my thoughts - and endless loop of trying to find a way out. I can't take care of him. We can't come close to affording in home care.

Other family members have been dealing with this (unaware of #1 and #3) for a long time and are exhausted. They tell me I can't leave until this is resolved.

The advise to "Take care of yourself" is welcome but unobtainable. All attempts to get counseling in the past week have proved futile. I call, navigate through voicemail NOBODY returns my calls. My parent's primary care doctor has also not returned calls. Now it's the weekend and I can't get any progress.

He is presently in a rehab facility that is providing physical therapy (he was unable to walk or feed himself after several days in a hospital bed). He is recovering and I expect him to be discharged in a week or two. Social workers at hospital and facility have been frankly worthless.

I have not confronted him yet regarding items #1 and #3. I need a plan in place and I can't get anything moving.

The end of my rope was days ago. Every day is a step backwards