Elder-caregivers

bucolic_frolic

(49,629 posts)

2. Wow, that's a lot.

Reply to ThoughtCriminal (Original post)

Fri Sep 8, 2023, 08:25 PM

Sep 2023

Please clarify ..... you live across the continent. So you are visiting? And your other family members won't let you leave? Seems to me any resolution is not your sole responsibility. It is primarily the responsibility of his primary caregiver, more so if that person lives with him. Does anyone have health care power of attorney?

It's a fluid situation when incompetence is not evident, the individual can do as he pleases. Doctors, nurses, home-care, family have influence perhaps but not control. Can you sit down with the other family members, a few sheets of paper, and reason this out? They know the daily situation more than you. List possible options and put some pros and cons to them. Whose care will he be discharged to when released from the nursing facility?

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I'm in complete despair [View all] ThoughtCriminal Sep 2023 OP

I'm so sorry happy feet Sep 2023 #1

Wow, that's a lot. bucolic_frolic Sep 2023 #2

I came as soon as he went to hospital ThoughtCriminal Sep 2023 #3

Resign. Jirel Sep 2023 #5

I hate to say this, but I agree. Resign - take care of yourself. erronis Sep 2023 #9

Good grief! Just wash your hands of your own father when he needs help the most, and leave Doodley Sep 2023 #15

Unless you have been there, or know soeone who has, you are speaking niyad Sep 2023 #23

This message was self-deleted by its author Doodley Sep 2023 #28

So true. narnian60 Sep 2023 #30

This is profoundly good advice. enough Sep 2023 #10

So all the love that the parent gives when a child needs help, love and support the most isn't Doodley Sep 2023 #14

See post 23. Curious, is it hard to breathe with the lack of oxygen at that niyad Sep 2023 #25

I think you may have misunderstood the situation. yardwork Oct 2023 #35

Good advice, but there's probably some resentment that the others are doing the heavy lifting Doodley Sep 2023 #13

I'm so sorry, but... Jirel Sep 2023 #4

Correct enough Sep 2023 #11

I agree, Adult Protective Services should be alerted... Trueblue Texan Sep 2023 #19

Not necessarily true re doctors not being able to release him if there is inadequate care. No Vested Interest Sep 2023 #32

Let me re-phrase... Trueblue Texan Sep 2023 #34

This message was self-deleted by its author No Vested Interest Sep 2023 #33

Wow. What a horrible mess. bullimiami Sep 2023 #6

I feel for the OP too, it's hard when it's your parent and you so want good outcomes bucolic_frolic Sep 2023 #8

You may have a friend in your corner RainCaster Sep 2023 #7

You say the other family members have been dealing with this. By that do Doodley Sep 2023 #12

Yes, they have been doing all those things ThoughtCriminal Sep 2023 #20

Yes, those pills may not be safe. He may be in pain and need those pills. Yes, he may be addicted. Doodley Sep 2023 #27

Don't know if this fits your situation, but there are online counseling services that Gaugamela Sep 2023 #16

You could try bringing him home for a nice long visit once he is done at the rehab facility -- just diva77 Sep 2023 #17

Been there. Really. but that's no help Easterncedar Sep 2023 #18

You have so much on your shoulders Wild blueberry Sep 2023 #21

Sounds like an incredibly difficult situation waterwatcher123 Sep 2023 #22

I can't help, but I do offer you both empathy and sympathy slightlv Sep 2023 #24

so sorry you are going thru this orleans Sep 2023 #26

It's especially tough when they are mentally sharp but with zero insight Warpy Sep 2023 #29

When you are home away from your family Marthe48 Sep 2023 #31

Shot in the dark here - but is your father a veteran? EmmaLee E Oct 2023 #36