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ismnotwasm

(42,652 posts)
35. I either don't hang around people like that or I modify myself
Tue Nov 12, 2024, 11:08 AM
Nov 2024

I use non-comittal comments, like “oh really?, I think I heard about that, huh”. At work with patients I simply tell them I don’t follow politics or popular culture. For religious types, I have several dramatic stories of examples of love and faith from religions other than Christianity, so what I do is affirm the feelings of faith and goodness as a worldwide thing, not just American Evangelicals…if someone wants to pray for me , I tell them “that’s so sweet of you, thank you”


I was at my BIL’s—one of the people I avoid usually, he does know not to talk politics or say racist shit around us, and he does try. Sometimes he can’t help himself though. So he says something about Biden shitting down coal mines, and I said, “but did he really?” And looked it up on the spot, and gave him a little context. He was fine with it (the answer is no, fuck no, Biden did not ) he actually asked who I voted for and I told him, “not the one who won” —he just laughed and changed the subject.

I tell those people I look up “EVERYTHING” at the beginning of socializing, “just habit with me” —it actually can be a lot fun during casual conversation about music. Or motors, or types or native trees etc..so I establish myself that way, as someone interested in facts and data. I explain that’s how my mind works, I don’t do well with conjecture. I have to have FACTs dammit. And of course they don’t use facts, so it often keeps the conversation fairly safe.

Recommendations

1 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

Do not participate, do not engage HAB911 Nov 2024 #1
Don't go GenThePerservering Nov 2024 #2
Beat me to it. I would definitely not go. wnylib Nov 2024 #18
Why go? WhiskeyGrinder Nov 2024 #3
If you are hosting I would relocate the dinner to a restaurant. You do not want that energy in your home. Hope22 Nov 2024 #4
Order Orange Chicken SocialDemocrat61 Nov 2024 #5
At your place or somewhere else? tanyev Nov 2024 #6
Restaurant 303squadron Nov 2024 #7
Why did you agree to it? What's the occasion? wnylib Nov 2024 #20
Say I have a migraine Blue Full Moon Nov 2024 #39
Just get up and leave. No need to explain. Sanity Claws Nov 2024 #27
I would refuse to attend. BigMin28 Nov 2024 #8
Tell them to enjoy the ride. cachukis Nov 2024 #9
If I have a choice in whether or not I get abused, verbal or otherwise, I'm going to opt out. Solly Mack Nov 2024 #10
Well stated, Solly! SheltieLover Nov 2024 #12
Thank you. I love my family, but love doesn't mean allowing them to kick me around. Solly Mack Nov 2024 #16
Quite simple, imo. SheltieLover Nov 2024 #21
Don't go. SamKnause Nov 2024 #11
Ask yourself how you got into this mess. gordianot Nov 2024 #13
Remember, your non-blood family EnergizedLib Nov 2024 #14
This message was self-deleted by its author morillon Nov 2024 #15
Don't go LuvLoogie Nov 2024 #17
I'd be too triggered to attend La Coliniere Nov 2024 #19
When I have had to go to things like that in the past Bettie Nov 2024 #22
Car trouble. haele Nov 2024 #23
When I was a kid fights around the dinner table were my family's favorite holiday recreation. hunter Nov 2024 #24
Don't Go SoCalDavidS Nov 2024 #25
Stomach trouble - uncontrolled vomiting Wicked Blue Nov 2024 #26
Just say No, as Nancy Reagan told us about drugs. Or keep keys & purse close, & exit with dignity... Hekate Nov 2024 #28
Don't go. Ocelot II Nov 2024 #29
I would NOT go!! aeromanKC Nov 2024 #30
Ground rules JeffinUT Nov 2024 #31
What do i use? I say to them "YOU MADE YOUR CHOICE" bluestarone Nov 2024 #32
Flagellation much ? magicarpet Nov 2024 #33
I'd agree with all of those who are saying "Don't go" Xavier Breath Nov 2024 #34
I either don't hang around people like that or I modify myself ismnotwasm Nov 2024 #35
I had to deal with that. MuseRider Nov 2024 #36
If you must go, ipecac will help! Hint: stay at the table. hatrack Nov 2024 #37
Easy Rebl2 Nov 2024 #38
Don't go. My non thanksgiving will be with a mixed group. Driving my own car and will leave if it's in the middle PortTack Nov 2024 #40
Cancel the dinner date. Vinca Nov 2024 #41
Pretend you have COVID-like symptoms and say you are staying... 3catwoman3 Nov 2024 #42
It's okay to say no thank you. think safety first the stove is hot. True Christians would respect your decision. Hotler Nov 2024 #43
If you have anything in common algunito Nov 2024 #44
Like others have said, don't go. sakabatou Nov 2024 #45
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