Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

MuseRider

(34,822 posts)
36. I had to deal with that.
Tue Nov 12, 2024, 11:40 AM
Nov 2024

All the relatives I have left since my last brother died a few weeks ago are BIG church people, most very fundy but a few are not. The only one I care to see or speak with is my Aunt who is 100 years old. She is just like the rest of them but has always had respect for others even with her big fundy beliefs. I will never see her again I suppose. They invite me but I can't really go. There about 30 cousins and on and on and they are all relentless, like they plan the attack.

The last time I was subjected to that I took the bits I knew I had to take, they do have the right to pray but over every single fundy comment made? I finally kissed my Aunt, who has never done that in her 100 years and left, she knew it would be the last time....she is still here, may she live as long as she enjoys it.

You just have to do it. Be nice and courteous but be prepared to say something like, "You all heard what I said. I do not hate you for your beliefs and I have never tried to change your mind. The fact that after all these years you still cannot pass that small courtesy along to me tells me that you don't really know how your Christ wanted you to live. I am happy you are happy but that is the end of this." I have had only a couple of actual contacts with one of them but that ended when I told her I would not be voting for Trump and to please stop adding my name to your FB posts about him unless you want me to react with the same amount of courtesy you give me.

It kinda works but has given me a big rest, I no longer have to chase her posts to me around and get rid of them. She has called a few times but I do not answer except by email and I do not answer my door when I look out and see 2 men in black and white standing there. I hate being mean to them until they try to ease their way into my home. If they have bicycles they never get even that far. It is a heck of a thing when something that should be so comforting and inclusive becomes something feel you have to hide from.

Good luck. I am afraid there is no way that I could see to get rid of their need to convert you or rub it in your face.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

Do not participate, do not engage HAB911 Nov 2024 #1
Don't go GenThePerservering Nov 2024 #2
Beat me to it. I would definitely not go. wnylib Nov 2024 #18
Why go? WhiskeyGrinder Nov 2024 #3
If you are hosting I would relocate the dinner to a restaurant. You do not want that energy in your home. Hope22 Nov 2024 #4
Order Orange Chicken SocialDemocrat61 Nov 2024 #5
At your place or somewhere else? tanyev Nov 2024 #6
Restaurant 303squadron Nov 2024 #7
Why did you agree to it? What's the occasion? wnylib Nov 2024 #20
Say I have a migraine Blue Full Moon Nov 2024 #39
Just get up and leave. No need to explain. Sanity Claws Nov 2024 #27
I would refuse to attend. BigMin28 Nov 2024 #8
Tell them to enjoy the ride. cachukis Nov 2024 #9
If I have a choice in whether or not I get abused, verbal or otherwise, I'm going to opt out. Solly Mack Nov 2024 #10
Well stated, Solly! SheltieLover Nov 2024 #12
Thank you. I love my family, but love doesn't mean allowing them to kick me around. Solly Mack Nov 2024 #16
Quite simple, imo. SheltieLover Nov 2024 #21
Don't go. SamKnause Nov 2024 #11
Ask yourself how you got into this mess. gordianot Nov 2024 #13
Remember, your non-blood family EnergizedLib Nov 2024 #14
This message was self-deleted by its author morillon Nov 2024 #15
Don't go LuvLoogie Nov 2024 #17
I'd be too triggered to attend La Coliniere Nov 2024 #19
When I have had to go to things like that in the past Bettie Nov 2024 #22
Car trouble. haele Nov 2024 #23
When I was a kid fights around the dinner table were my family's favorite holiday recreation. hunter Nov 2024 #24
Don't Go SoCalDavidS Nov 2024 #25
Stomach trouble - uncontrolled vomiting Wicked Blue Nov 2024 #26
Just say No, as Nancy Reagan told us about drugs. Or keep keys & purse close, & exit with dignity... Hekate Nov 2024 #28
Don't go. Ocelot II Nov 2024 #29
I would NOT go!! aeromanKC Nov 2024 #30
Ground rules JeffinUT Nov 2024 #31
What do i use? I say to them "YOU MADE YOUR CHOICE" bluestarone Nov 2024 #32
Flagellation much ? magicarpet Nov 2024 #33
I'd agree with all of those who are saying "Don't go" Xavier Breath Nov 2024 #34
I either don't hang around people like that or I modify myself ismnotwasm Nov 2024 #35
I had to deal with that. MuseRider Nov 2024 #36
If you must go, ipecac will help! Hint: stay at the table. hatrack Nov 2024 #37
Easy Rebl2 Nov 2024 #38
Don't go. My non thanksgiving will be with a mixed group. Driving my own car and will leave if it's in the middle PortTack Nov 2024 #40
Cancel the dinner date. Vinca Nov 2024 #41
Pretend you have COVID-like symptoms and say you are staying... 3catwoman3 Nov 2024 #42
It's okay to say no thank you. think safety first the stove is hot. True Christians would respect your decision. Hotler Nov 2024 #43
If you have anything in common algunito Nov 2024 #44
Like others have said, don't go. sakabatou Nov 2024 #45
Latest Discussions»General Discussion»Help me DU, dinner this e...»Reply #36