How am I supposed to make satire when headlines like this are real 😭

[magicarpet]

11. ... or wipe their own bum bums.....

... they hire some immigrant to do it for them,..

.... Then quickly deport them - to save face - that they could be so incredibly incompetent as to handle the task themselves. Without getting shit all over their fingers, their palms, the walls, the toilet seat, the cover, the chrome flush handle, the porcelain hopper, and the wall to wall carpet out in the hall and into the next room. Like a poop party took place.

It is no wonder they all wear adult diapers. But at least the smell of shit is then localized - instead of smeared about all of creation.