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Mental Health Support

OldBaldy1701E

(8,331 posts)

9. He is not to blame for any of this.

Reply to Duppers (Reply #7)

Mon Jun 30, 2025, 07:51 AM

Jun 30

I would not be here today if not for him. I feel this way because it is the truth. I have done nothing but deteriorate since moving up here. I have tried to help him. I watch his hair turning more grey and I know I am partly to blame for it.

Despite his flaws, I feel that he is a saint for wanting to marry me. In fairness, I did warn him when he proposed that he was making a HUGE mistake.

This is on me. I was a failure from the get-go, and I just did not want to see it. I have failed at everything I have tried in 60+ years. Everything I haver ever touched has turned to ash.

I am just tried of losing... over and over and over.

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To my husband. [View all] OldBaldy1701E Jun 29 OP

*Nobody* is a failure, except maybe for Trump. Ocelot II Jun 29 #1

But, when stuff happens disproportionately... OldBaldy1701E Jun 30 #10

If there is a failure it's that of our society, not you, Ocelot II Jun 30 #18

I will not disagree with you on any of that. OldBaldy1701E Jun 30 #22

Whoever "they" are, screw 'em. Only bad, stupid people blame victims. Ocelot II Jun 30 #23

Then, there are WAY more bad, stupid people in the world than one might think. OldBaldy1701E Jul 1 #24

Dear Heart WhiteTara Jun 29 #2

We did not make such vows, but we pretty much said it in our exchanges. OldBaldy1701E Jun 30 #11

Sounds like a conversation is in order. WhiteTara Jun 30 #16

You are valued. Nanuke Jun 29 #3

I doubt I am giving him any joy or comfort. OldBaldy1701E Jun 30 #12

you are giving him purple_haze Jul 1 #28

You are NOT a failure. You are a beautiful, loving, unselfish person. It is not your responsibilty LoisB Jun 29 #4

Well, we are a gay couple. OldBaldy1701E Jun 30 #13

As a performer, you brought pleasure and enjoyment to your audiences. Ocelot II Jun 30 #19

Gay couple, straight couple - no difference to me. A couple is a couple. I hope something LoisB Jun 30 #20

I figured that, but when you said "..it doesn't apply just to the woman.", I felt I should respond. (n/t) OldBaldy1701E Jul 1 #25

I apologize. I should have said "does not apply to only one spouse". I really just want you to LoisB Jul 1 #30

First, I hope that your husband didn't give you the impression that he felt that way about you. 1WorldHope Jun 29 #5

He did not. OldBaldy1701E Jun 30 #14

Oh, no. murielm99 Jun 29 #6

Thanks. The people here seem to be the only ones who think so. (n/t) OldBaldy1701E Jun 30 #17

I don't think your husband is a nice person for making you feel like this. Duppers Jun 29 #7

He is not to blame for any of this. OldBaldy1701E Jun 30 #9

I'm sorry life has treated you like it has. crosinski Jun 29 #8

Thank you. (n/t) OldBaldy1701E Jun 30 #15

Oh man mdmc Jun 30 #21

I don't know how old you are or where you are but Tadpole Raisin Jul 1 #26

Thank you for your suggestions. OldBaldy1701E Jul 1 #27

Once to are over 60 for snap the numbers may change. Tadpole Raisin Jul 1 #29

There is only life. And it can throw awful stuff at you. applegrove Jul 1 #31