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Mental Health Support

Ocelot II

(126,103 posts)

18. If there is a failure it's that of our society, not you,

Reply to OldBaldy1701E (Reply #10)

Mon Jun 30, 2025, 10:33 AM

Jun 30

or all the other millions of people who are poor or ill. We have a society that rewards wealth and luck, and that blames individuals for troubles not of their creation. You have not failed, you have been failed, but you've internalized that failure; you've been made to think it's all your fault. It isn't. Conservatives in particular love to blame victims, to the point where as a culture we assume that if someone is struggling they must have done something wrong. This absolves the rest of society of any responsibility for looking after the poor, the sick, all that Christian stuff that so many people who call themselves Christians don't seem to actually believe. I wish I knew how to help you see that you're not a failure.

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To my husband. [View all] OldBaldy1701E Jun 29 OP

*Nobody* is a failure, except maybe for Trump. Ocelot II Jun 29 #1

But, when stuff happens disproportionately... OldBaldy1701E Jun 30 #10

If there is a failure it's that of our society, not you, Ocelot II Jun 30 #18

I will not disagree with you on any of that. OldBaldy1701E Jun 30 #22

Whoever "they" are, screw 'em. Only bad, stupid people blame victims. Ocelot II Jun 30 #23

Then, there are WAY more bad, stupid people in the world than one might think. OldBaldy1701E Jul 1 #24

Dear Heart WhiteTara Jun 29 #2

We did not make such vows, but we pretty much said it in our exchanges. OldBaldy1701E Jun 30 #11

Sounds like a conversation is in order. WhiteTara Jun 30 #16

You are valued. Nanuke Jun 29 #3

I doubt I am giving him any joy or comfort. OldBaldy1701E Jun 30 #12

you are giving him purple_haze Jul 1 #28

You are NOT a failure. You are a beautiful, loving, unselfish person. It is not your responsibilty LoisB Jun 29 #4

Well, we are a gay couple. OldBaldy1701E Jun 30 #13

As a performer, you brought pleasure and enjoyment to your audiences. Ocelot II Jun 30 #19

Gay couple, straight couple - no difference to me. A couple is a couple. I hope something LoisB Jun 30 #20

I figured that, but when you said "..it doesn't apply just to the woman.", I felt I should respond. (n/t) OldBaldy1701E Jul 1 #25

I apologize. I should have said "does not apply to only one spouse". I really just want you to LoisB Jul 1 #30

First, I hope that your husband didn't give you the impression that he felt that way about you. 1WorldHope Jun 29 #5

He did not. OldBaldy1701E Jun 30 #14

Oh, no. murielm99 Jun 29 #6

Thanks. The people here seem to be the only ones who think so. (n/t) OldBaldy1701E Jun 30 #17

I don't think your husband is a nice person for making you feel like this. Duppers Jun 29 #7

He is not to blame for any of this. OldBaldy1701E Jun 30 #9

I'm sorry life has treated you like it has. crosinski Jun 29 #8

Thank you. (n/t) OldBaldy1701E Jun 30 #15

Oh man mdmc Jun 30 #21

I don't know how old you are or where you are but Tadpole Raisin Jul 1 #26

Thank you for your suggestions. OldBaldy1701E Jul 1 #27

Once to are over 60 for snap the numbers may change. Tadpole Raisin Jul 1 #29

There is only life. And it can throw awful stuff at you. applegrove Jul 1 #31